I had gone to the beach with my 5 year old niece. Yup, those were the days I was possessed by the fitness bhoot till the real me took over again, but that’s another story. Anyway, there I was doing my runs while my niece made sand castles with the help of her toys. 45 minutes into the run and then I decided it was time to retire. As I walked up to my niece I noticed a couple of tiny toddies helping her build the sandy caricatures.

They were just regular kids… sharing toys, giggling at each other’s silliness, looking proudly at the sight of their handmade monument. But for some reason I didn’t notice them just as that. To me the only bit that was very visible was – These kids are Muslims – And they are playing with my niece.

Yes better sense did prevail and I did let the kids play to their hearts content. But for many days I was not able to rid myself of the guilt for thinking something so irrelevant. Had those kids been of any other faith, would have even noticed or given a crap?

Cut to the movie…

As part of the elitist group of movie goers (the self appointed ones, mind you), most often I would crib over the fact that our popular productions houses & directors lacked balls of steel when it came to experimentation. Thinking out of the box was hard, sticking to tried & tested formula came but so naturally. And Mr. Karan Johar was no exception.

He made big budgeted, highly diabetic candy floss films and as professional sugar addicts we licked it all up time and time again. That is till Kabhi Alvida Na Kehana happened.

My Name Is Khan is bundled with flaws; be it where airlines don’t reimburse a passenger unnecessarily detained by immigration officials or the so not needed Bollywood clichés or the lead protagonist’s trademark stammering.

But, for me, you see the movie began and ended every time Rizwan Khan uttered “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist”. The sincerity was crystal clear right there and then. Not all fingers are the same and rightly, not all Muslims are terrorists. A fact we all are aware of. And yet a fact so easily forgotten. Therefore I am glad Karan Johar made this film.

But then again, I’d rather have him selling candy floss.

And I found it here.

The Saudi king has waived a sentence of flogging on a female journalist working for a TV channel which aired graphic accounts of sex in the kingdom. [Link]

Fantastic, don’t you think? I mean this is the Arab world we are talking about; a woman researching on taboos in the Arab word (including extra-marital sex), openly discussing it on national television and then the Saudi King butting in at the right time. If Mahesh Bhatt had his way, in no time you would have a film on the same with Emraan Hashmi as the Saudi King and probably Bipasha Basu as the journalist, only to add the oomph factor.

On a serious note though; great for the journalist but what about Mazen Abdul Jawad?

The way I look at it is, Premarital Sex could be termed as a moral crime (if one chooses to look at it in this manner) but by no definition is it a societal crime and certainly not a punishable offence; unless and until it happened without the consent of either of the individuals involved.

But a sentence of 5 years and some 1,000 lashes for bragging about the number of women one has had sex with, reading a book titled 100 Questions About Sex, Using sex toys, showing sensitivity towards female partner, being partial to colour Red, etc – is quite lethal, no? Just imagine if the same had been applicable in India, then surely every other guy would have his arse black & blue and let’s not even talk about the over populated prison cells.

And what wrong did Jawad’s three friends do – being part of a group discussion? The poor cameraman was only doing his freaking job?

You know, such reality bites only makes us realize that grass is not always greener on the other side. We sit in our fancy offices and curse everything under the sun about this country but by God we are much better off here than those in other restricted corners of the world.

As conclusion, I would like to quote a line from Rang De Basanti – “Koi desh behtar nahi hota usay behtar banana padta hai” – and we should be thankful that we have the freedom to do so.

* Check out the in famous video clip, here.

Those perceived by the majority as “deviants’ or ‘different’ are not excluded or ostracised from inclusiveness of the Constitution: Delhi HC [Tweet Notes from Gay_India]

Freaking unbelievable. Absolutely speechless. Who would have thought we had logical thinking, mature individuals in charge of our judiciary system. So finally after 7 years of court battle, Delhi High Court legalised gay sex among consenting adult.

“We declare that Section 377 of IPC in so far as it criminalises consensual sexual acts of adults in private is violative of Articles 14, 21 and 15 of the Constitution,” a bench comprising Chief Justice A P Shah and Justice S Murlidhar said. [Link : Rediff.com]

However IPC 377 will still hold for cases involving children and non-consensual sex. All good me thinks though it would naive of us to think that our esteemed self-appointed moral brigade will not try to make most of this opportunity. Thankfully though this time round, the law is on the right side. So these douchebags can very well shove their fingers up their stinky arse.

*For detailed information on the HC ruling, visit Desicritics.

I am not saying in any sense that what happened what’s happening in Sydney Melbourne can be excused & thereby forgotten but the whole object behind this post is to ask (few) intellectual people to stop forming judgment on this “country” on the basis of what is written in the papers and spoken by other intellectual individuals like them and to stop generalizing the entire “Australian community” as being racist. [….]

This was my standpoint in 2005 and in 2009, I continue to believe the same. Australia was home to me for 8 years,crucial growing up years to say the least, from the age of 16 to 23. A country of many firsts for me – first job, first car, reality checks, happy hour nights @ Uni bar, bunking work for a sun tan, crazy Halloween parties, generous tips during holiday season (Worked as a waitress in an Indian Curry House), toilet cleaning (part of my job profile @ Burger King), introduction to R&B, weekend movie marathons, my closest friends & best flat mates ever, two white Australian lads, Dave & Elliot – so as is obvious by now, this is an emotional topic for me. And yes, touchy too. O Boy, it pisses me no ends, reading headlines tagging Australia, one of the safest countries in today’s times, as racist.

To explain it in simple words – I consider myself as much an Ozzie as an Indian. Australia(ns?) and my experiences there have a lot to do with what I am today, not by monetary value or stature, but as a human being. Some may argue that I was plain lucky, but let me assure you that there are many many more falling within the same “lucky” bracket then those falling outside it.

I am obviously not implying that they sit on their arses and do jack shit – The Australian government & authorities are very capable and follow the rules by the book – and those responsible will be punished appropriately (sorry but yes, I have more faith in their judicial system than in ours… do you blame me?).

So for now let’s just stop magnifying every small incident to the size of a mammoth racial calamity. And then haven’t you heard?- people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Though I wonder what will be more objectionable for our protectors of Bharitiya maryada and sanskriti; eating beef or the manner in which it’s eaten. Both seem to be corrupting the minds of Indian women, no?

Either which ways me thinks Padma Lakshmi rocks. Salman Rushdie what a bloody wanker.

The State and Central Governments as always verbally "condemn" such acts of extreme ideologies but fail to put their words in action. While our judicial system continues to work at a snail’s pace; arrests are made for formality and later bails are handed out, just as easily.

The fact of the matter is that this political "goondagardi" is very much a part of our everyday reality along with inefficiency of those responsible for securing the law & order. Your security lies in your own hands because the government..er…gives a rat’ arse about it.

Therefore keeping the above in mind, here’s my plan of action :

Years ago, on my first day at junior college, my older brother gifted me a baseball bat. Not for the sport but for protection. I carried it in my car for almost two years. Did I ever use it? Well, let me just say it came handy in teaching some brothers a lesson in naari respect.

Today, since I am an active member of the "loose women" club, I bought myself a spanking red baseball bat. Along with six cans of Pepper Spray. At home I have urged my sister in law to enroll herself and my 4 year old niece for Karate lessons.

And I advise you to do the same. Set aside some money from your shopping budget, kitty party, weekend outing – instead invest it in a sturdy protection tool(s). You may think I am over reacting, and maybe I am. But don’t they say, desperate times call for desperate measures?

* Important Announcement : Though I am not much of believer in ishq-mohabbat-pyaar, let alone the concept of Valentine’s Day however this year I have decided to mend my cold ways. And to prove this, I am gifting not one but three Pink Chaddis to my dear Valentine, Sri Rama Sene president Pramod Muthalik.

Like me, if you too find Muthalik to be a hottie then do join the Pink Chaddi Campaign. Believe me you lurveeing can’t get better than this, this Valentines.

But a recent family incident made me wonder whether trophy wives only exist with the high-income clan or are they in fact a common breed among us types, the middle class folks.

Well you decide….

Sneha, family friend’s daughter. 28 years old, MBA pass and works for a well-known HR firm. Hails from a well-respected joint family. Personality wise; simple, well mannered and very down to Earth. All in all a perfect wife material (silly words, I know but drives home the point in a single shot).

Couple of days ago she was introduced to Boy A and his family via the arranged marriage route. Boy A like Sneha hails from a well-educated and respected family. The boy completed his maters from an American university, worked in the US for couple of years and now is back in India to help his family with the medical-business.

On the surface things looked like as if it were a match made in heaven – lekin – there was one issue.

Boy A had asked Sneha if she intended to work after marriage. To this her reply was ‘No’ however she also added that if ever in the future she did want to pursue a profession, the option should be open to her.

And no matter how ridiculous it may sound but for this reason alone, Sneha was rejected by Boy A and family. The explanation given was…if only Sneha agreed to no job policy after becoming Mrs. A would the deal take off. Thankfully some sense prevailed and Sneha’s family placed preference with their daughter’s decision (though they were ticked with their daughter’s blunt reply) and not the so-called suitable rishta.

Now to a certain extent I can accept the boy’s family not wanting a working daughter-in-law, that’s their choice and so be it. However what I find somewhat difficult to digest – is – the family’s inclination to find their prized possession an MBA wife? This criteria was apparently highlighted in Boy A’s bio data.

Logically speaking, if you have pre-decided that you only want an in-house daughter in-law then why the heck does her qualification matter. Obviously not an illiterate but then what’s wrong with a graduate?

The only explanation that pops up in the head is of a trophy wife. Meaning; finding a daughter in-law whose image gels well with the family profile, whose qualification sounds good to the ears when mentioned to relatives, friends & society at large and whose homeliness is displayed best with her sitting at home.

Ps – Two high profile weddings coming up in our housing block. With these marriages, I officially become the oldest spinster in the vicinity. Needless to say mum’s BP is falling off the bridge. Me, well I am simply ecstatic for topping the list. And yes, we wish the couples the very best.

Speaking of Devdutt, so on dining table we had the hoity-toity dressed known faces and the only one standing out, in his simplicity was our man. Flashing that ever so infectious smile. At one point, our host who couldn’t resist, questioned Devdutt as to how he manages that grin 24/7? And true to his style, he replied “Frustration doesn’t get me too far”…..and people ‘the’ impression was made, signed and sealed.

From thereon I happened to bump into him on several occasions; book launches, monthly magazine parties…house parties (nope I am not bragging about the kind of people I socialize with). Besides the general nitty-gritty, my never ending queries on the topic of Feminism in Indian mythology, we spoke a little on his then upcoming book on one of the most famous and probably the most controversial mythological icon, King Ram.

Personally speaking, I ain’t too fond of this Lord. But then my opinion is very much biased to what happened with his wife, Sita. That’s the feminist in me whom I cannot and will not ignore. There you have it.

Anyway, once I heard the book was out….the curious cat in me picked up the phone and decided to have short tete-a-tete with one of the country’s foremost mythological writers, Dr. Devdutt Pattanaik.

Do you prefer Ram or Krishna?

Both are forms of Vishnu. And Vishnu is God who engages with the world, unlike Shiva who prefers being indifferent. Ram and Krishna are two ways of interacting with two different worlds. Ram upholds rules while Krishna modify rules. Both for dharma. I prefer Ram sometimes and Krishna sometimes. Hindu mythology spoils us for choices.

Did you find anything new while writing the book?

Many new things….like why did Ram break rather than string the bow as he was sked to? And stories of Urmila and Sita I did not know before… Like how Sita saved Ram from a son of Ravan and from a Naga-astra….I learnt of a bank where people deposits books filled with the name of Ram written over and over again…

Tell us the story of Urmila…who is she?

She is the wife of Lakshman and for the story you have to buy the book.

Isn’t Ram too political today?

So???? He has been God for 2000 years. 50 years of politics does not take away his divinity. Why did our ancestors worship him? And why is he the only god to be worshipped as king? These are questions I have tried to answer.

Anything for young people?

All my books are for young people. Young or old, we still do not know the meaning of life or the purpose to life. We construct imaginary answers. We are given imaginary answers. In other words, we live in myth. And that’s what I write about.

What are you writing on now?

My next book explores Calendar art. Then there is the book on Mahabharata….

How do you find the time?

Discipline, sacrifice….and the desire to write at any cost….Simple!

Why didn’t Mumbai have the Pride march when the other three metro cities were having it?

Well, on June 29 Delhi, Calcutta and Bangalore had their Rainbow marches, and as a commentor on my previous post pointed out (Thanks for the info, Sachin), Mumbai is having one too. For those of you who’ve just come in, the Pride is a march taken out by the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual) or, in short, the Queer community to protest their marginalisation in our hetero-centric society.

However, Mumbai did not have the Pride march the same day as it was happening in other cities (a first for Delhi) in India, not to mention across the globe. And I thought to myself:

1.Why?

2.Didn’t this show a disturbing lack of solidarity by the Mumbai queer community for their counterparts in the rest of country?

3.Was it just the lack of organisation?

And

4.Now that we’re having one, I’m curious, why adopt a different name ‘QueerAzadi’?

I posed these questions to two prominent LGBT activists, Ashok Row Kavi (UNAIDS, Humsafar) and Geeta Kumana (INFOSEM), who are also part of the organising commitee of the upcoming march.

The whole point of having the march on the 16th of August, they said, is to show that even while our country may have got independence from the British, we’re still not free of the laws created and instituted by them- most notably section 377 of the IPC that criminalises homosexuality. That apart, they also wanted to strike a note closer home by connecting queer freedom to our own context, whereas the marches that took place in June followed the tradition of commemorating the Stonewall Riots that took place in New York on June 28, 1969.

Still, what about the show of unity that having the march the same day as the other three cities would have meant?

Kavi called it a case of having one’s cake and eating it too.

Lots of guys from Bombay were at all three marches, so what’s this about us not participating? It’s just that I think we wanted to do this a bit differently. And no, why CAN’T we be different? This way we can have our cake (go for any of the other three marches) and also have our own where other cities can participate. This time we have large contingents coming from Pune, Surat, Baroda, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi and Kolkata.

Kumana insisted that it wasn’t an organiser problem at all. As a matter of fact, if you visit Queer Azadi, a detailed coverage of the meeting is available for all to see.

As Kavi pointed out…

Sure there are class, community and other differences. At least Bombay handles it honestly. I know there are differences in Kolkata, Delhi and Bangalore too and they flare up quite frequently on the Net. Here we sit down and thrash them out across the table. There is a saying in Hindi -when there are so many vessels close together, they do make noise.

And finally, as for the different name, here’s what he had to say about it.

Come on, Bombay is DIFFERENT! It is the most corporate and business like of all Indian cities. Do you think any other city would have thought of pink Gandhi topis for the march? It also shows India’s pluralism.

So there, questions answered. Now it’s time to do the do and show some pride.

In case you too are interested in showing support, here’s where you go:

Assembly on August 16 at August Kranti Maidan at 3.30 2.30 pm. The march will leave for Girgaum Chowpatty at 3 pm.

Main issues for protest:

* Section 377, anti-sodomy laws: Quit India

* Forced marriages of gays and lesbians

* Constitutional provision to fight sexual and gender discrimination

* End homo- and transphobia, in educational institutions, workplaces, families.