Obviously, there’s more to it than what meets the eye but I prefer keeping things simple. So…

Yes, I did manage to get another date

Yes, I did once again wait for hours (almost eternity though, it felt like)

Yes, I did get the interview

Yes, I did feel like crap considering, it lasted barely 20 minutes when it took 3 weeks of mental and physical exhaustion to get it

Yes, I did feel nothing when it was published (with absolute no editing) because there was nothing left to feel anymore

Yes, I stand by my renewed opinion; the woman is exactly what she portrays to be – A Drama Queen (unfortunately for her the act seems to have taken over her soul) 

Yes, the timing couldn’t be more perfect… what with people hooked on to Madam Sawant’s another InYourFace theatrics – Rakhi Ka Swayamvara – which needless to say is nothing but a farce. The woman isn’t going to marry anybody simply because she isn’t stupid (even if she manages to give Blond jokes a serious run for their money).

Yes, I am no longer her fan

And yes, before I wrap up with pasting the said published article (Verve, September 2008 Issue), I would like to share the credit with the one person who was very much a part of my ordeal from start to finish. *To you (and you know who you are), this wouldn’t have been possible without you, so thank you*

Tomorrow off to Paris, Disney Land with the kids. Not mine. My brother’s. Good to have things cleared out no? Anyway will be back to blogging very soon. Till then be naughty.

*Note – A new beginning a new blog theme. Ladies and gents, I present to you “Sallu”.

**Note – This doesn’t mean my obsession with the color red has faded even to the slightest.

Now if you are as successful as I am in the desi-blogdom (yes modesty seems to be the highest virtue these days) then private advertising offers are a regular feature. Not much moolah but moolah nonetheless.

Anyway what got me by the gigglee nerve was that in the mail the very nice lady mentioned something on the lines of having studied my blog (meaning posts) extensively and thus coming to the conclusion that it was an excellent advertising medium. Excellent advertising medium my ever so sexy (so what if flat) arse.

I mean seriously…if one has read this blog as efficiently as claimed then even a noodle soup doodee would realize that my thoughts are anything but marriage friendly, especially arranged marriage. And if not off the mark, matrimonial sites could be classified as – one of 21^st century’s popular arranged marriage routes.

So much so for extensive research. Maybe for once they should attempt doing the same with their eyes open. On second thoughts though; maybe just maybe they are dabbling with twisted psychology here. You know like telling it to a 6 year old, don’t do this because it’s bad for you but in actuality you do want the kid to take the bait.

Either ways, my reply to the kind lady’s e-mail was positive. Very positive. Why? Because in us Punjabis there is a popular saying “Aati huai Lamxi ko kabhi na nahi kehete”. 

The off-line events in the past few days have been overwhelming, professionally and personally. People usually say it’s best to immerse yourself in things you love to overcome the other not-so-happening stuff in your life but I ain’t so lucky. Life is getting a bit too much and I want time out.

So without over dramatizing here, this is my knee-jerk reaction (some habits die-hard) :

Once upon a time I use to love Cadbury Perk. So much so, it was my only meal during my stay in the hospital while undergoing an appendicitis. But once out of there, I couldn’t get myself to enjoy it in the pre-operation manner. It brought back painful hospital memories.

Blogging has been a life savior for me. Past three years have been unbelievable and most importantly comforting in ways I could have never imagined. I gave it every bit of my khoon-pasina and in return it provided me with opportunities which only a fortunate few are presented with. And tons of friends. What can I say, I have been one lucky bitch.

However I don’t want to use my blog as a therapy tool. I don’t want it to be yet another Perk of my life. It’s far too precious to loose. And so I have come to a conclusion to shut it down for a while. Not forever. Just till the time I get my act together. Probably this could be the worst decision of my life but I am hoping otherwise.

For now I am taking a break and the best bit is my air-ticket has no return date on it. So no internet, no emails and no blog. Just main aur meri tanhaiyan.

Good bye and guys, be kind.

(Ps: Last update on the Sawant series, the interview did happen. The lady was on her best behavior and unbelievingly convincing. The woman deserves a Filmfare award people, believe me you.)

First off Kudos to Kamla for managing to pull this one off. She spoke to Abhishek Bachchan in LA, who was there as part of the Unforgettable Tour after having covered Canada and Trinidad. And as usual, Kamla’s questions were sharp, and to the point and revealed that she had done her homework. For instance, her knowing that AB baby collects watches. Who knew that? (I didn’t – not that I care enough anyways). That, and that a blog is underway.

Pity then that the interviewee was boring as hell!

For starters, all I wanted to do was pull the mike away from Bachchan junior and tell him to stop spouting platitudes.  Everything was simply "marvelous" or "wonderful" (like the technological advances made in Bollywood since the 80s – when his father was acting.). What I wanted to hear, as no doubt Kamla wanted him to talk about, was a measure of change he’s perceived, but all he could come up with was a "of course through times the method of telling stories change, and the kind of stories being told change too". Tell me something new!

Then Abhishek talks of himself: "Everything that I am is because of my audience" Yeah yeah, think of something original willya?

Oh wait a min, he tries: "People always comes into a film wanting to love you. They never let you down… I’ve always let them down." Er…"We all have to work very hard, no matter which profession" and “Success and failure is part of life … and you have to take them both in the same way. I am what I am because of the love and faith of the people". Ohhhh gaaaaawd. Yaaaawn!

And of course, Abhishek on Drona (releasing in October this year) was like hearing every filmstar’s description of their upcoming movie: Drona is…

1) New, Different; 2) Not seen on Indian screen before; 3) Very unique 4) We’ve all worked very hard on it. 5) Wonderful (Once again) to have done that movie.

When asked what a typical day for him was like he launched into a long-winded and totally irrelevant point of how everyone has to work very hard in their own respective work days, and that’s what he does too. Thanks Abhishek, but you kinda missed the whole point of the question!

At the end of it, I guess he’d run out of all the correct statements to make, so when Kamla asked him if he wanted to add anything, all he could come up with was, "Er no ma’am."

Well, thank god for small mercies!

So here I am, with Inkfruit open in another tab, and I’m thinking, ‘That’s called ideating’.

Don’t know how far something this specific will run, and these guys might need to come up with something MORE, but, for the time being, this is a great plan, and I hope it works. ‘Cause, you know, it’s just so cute and refreshing.

Some of the Tee designs are pretty cute and whacky. And these designs are submissions of people – you can do so too. Not just that, you can also vote and rate your favourite designs, and leave back comments. So it’s all nice and interactive.

You have to register yourself in this community of T-shirt lovers (whose tagline is: A Great T-Shirt Can Change The World), provide a bit of personal information (that I was a bit uncomfortable providing, but you can faff a bit no), and then log on. Chat up with others, surf for nice designs and submit your own. These guys offer a full refund of money if you are not happy with the stuff you’ve bought online, but you can’t return a piece if you’ve tried it, so that’s a bit of a bummer. Also, some of the pieces on display are already sold. Atleast the one I liked (Mansi’s Graphical Buildings) was all sold out. That’s something these guys need to be really quick to update – carelessness is the last thing we’re expecting from smart idea-sites. On the flipside though, they’re selling out fast, which definitely means they’re managing to do pretty well for themselves.

Now, all that cuteness doesn’t mean they’re not smart cookies haan. So, the shipping charges are extra: Rs 20 extra (for Mumbai), Rs 30 (for Delhi). If it’s cash on delivery, and not online payment, then that’s another Rs 30. Online payment is fairly detailed and they accept debit/credit/Internet bank account payments. But the Tees themselves are pretty affordable.

Now if you’re submitting designs then I’d suggest you take a look at the Terms and Conditions first – it’s not fine print, and it’s not jargon. Basically, it lays down how much money you get if your design’s accepted (Rs 1,500 + Rs 500 rewards points redeemable on the site) and where you can or can not use the design once it’s selected by the Inkfruit.com people.

I plan to get a bit soppy

There’s much reason you see

And even more rhyme

As I’m going to talk about time

Passed, gone, three years to the date

When by chance, or perhaps fate

I opened this site and gave it my name

And with the click of a mouse, became

The blogger you all know and read

With patience and tolerance indeed.

As I celebrate a birthday

I also mourn a loss

Happiness, it’s clear,

Must come with some fuss.

A mixed bag it is, this thing called life

While cutting a muffin today

With a candlestick and no knife

I prayed for only one thing

And one thing alone

That we all love –

To each its own.

Genetic argument: a two edged sword. Or, just because it’s so, therefore natural, is it good enough to be normative? (The second line’s not your quote). Well, science has, through the years, been used to do just the opposite: rally all arguments of being natural to create the normative. Take for instance, arguments to establish white supremacy over black people (physiognamy and head shape was actually rallied to underline black inferiority!!). Which is why I said, science and medicine are ideological blindspots, precisely because they masquerade as natural and therefore seem unquestionable.

Further, I agree homosexuality is not just genetic. There are a whole host of environmental and cognitive reasons scientists are exploring to understand not just homosexuality, but sexual orientations in general.

It’s a very valid point nonetheless that you have risen, about genetics being a two-edged sword. But I’ll assume that paedophilia; adultery and violence are genetic phenomena and not socio-cultural ones, when the scientists start saying so (and even then, I’d crinkle my nose and look extremely suspicious).

The way I see it, violence is very much a socio-cultural practice, validated, normalised, normativised (capital punishment, police torture, MCOCA, and till not too long ago POTA) by the patriarchal society we live in. If we believe in the values society is to set down, and keep the faith, then we’re going nowhere. Women will continue to be beaten; the state will continue to violate human rights. It’s a simple thought really: if society is allowed to decide what is the normative, and we accept it unquestioningly, then discrimination, bigotry and chauvinism will never end. Why? Because the patriarchal nature of the society will always generate these so-called values on the basis of exclusion. 

What one can reasonably demand of society is the "freedom" to be out of this normative band, and yet not be persecuted/discriminated against. What we can demand reasonably of the legal system, is that laws must protect people against such discrimination (being denied fair opportunities, being threatened/beaten/harassed/booed), instead of punishing people for falling out of the normative. In my opinion, that is the real change we need.

How can you keep the normative in place and expect to end discrimination against those out of the normative band. The whole definition of normative is premised on the existence of that which isn’t normative. The ‘ab’ to the normal. The Other to the Self. And the margin to the centre.

Now to the issue of normative.

I don’t agree with your reading of what I’ve written. I have made as much of an argument against discrimination against homosexuality, as I argue for it to come into the folds of the normative. Now, what do I mean by this? Simply that it is the bane of our existence that the simplest, most wonderful, most radical invention, will ultimately become a convention, and get institutionalised. Normativised. The margin will move to the centre. This probably won’t change too much, but it’s required. Mayawati becoming the CM (a dalit, and a woman at that) of a state traditionally known for its discriminatory class politics is a case in point. A point from the margin has moved to the centre. Is it an indication of a radical change? Oddly enough, yes and no. Is it an example of radical newness becoming normative? Absolutely. For, there is no other model, other than the centre – margin one for society to follow. And till we think up of a new one, we’ll just have to keep the fight against the centre going, even if what we’re fighting for is making its inexorable way towards it.

The second thing I disagree with is your definition of normative. It’s not about positive values. It’s, as I’ve mentioned before, about keeping a patriarchal class structure in place.

I won’t repeat myself.

Value is a word that harks to a wholly separate discursive universe: that of ethics.
(The contradiction implicit in your own headline is a case in point: you call your post meta-normative, ie harking to its own normativeness, which according to you, provides a space to espouse positive values, but according to me, is hegemonic).

And finally, you say: How homosexuality is different from the others on the above list is that the others are not considered "abnormal", just unacceptable (at least pre-marital sex and paid-sex). In case of homosexuality, this "abnormal" term is typically used not in normative (value) sense, but rather as a pathological/psychopathological sense.

Two things: homosexuality also differs from the list (pre marital sex, incest not leading to childbirth, consensual orgiastic sex etc etc) in one crucial way. Homosexuality is a sexual preference. The others are sexual practices. Huge difference, won’t you agree?

Second, abnormal definitely refers to psychopathological (and yes, DSM IV has taken it off the sexual deviation list, but still keeps ‘those with a marked concerned regarding their sexual orientation’ well within the confines of their diagnoses), but the law itself calls homosexuality abnormal. Section 377 deems to criminalize homosexuality by referring to it as "against the order of nature." (Who’s nature is the law talking about?). By doing so, it has laid down the norm. So taking the discussion into normatives is hardly meandering.

And so starting tomorrow evening, I am officially on my three weeks Asian Summer Break – departing from one hot city arriving at another and moving along.

Intended destinations:

Hong Kong

China – Shenzhen & Macau

Thailand – Bangkok & Phuket

Agenda:

Eat (Ah! Have been dreaming of super delicious Jumbo Prawns from the streets of Bangkok)

Drink (A strict No-No once I get back)

Shop (Mama said its okay)

Become a Pro Beach Bum

Random Notes:

No, I am not going on a sexual escapade; certainly not with mum and sister around.

Gave up long ago on the dream of bumping into my soulmate on a travel adventure.

Travelling with family at times can be beneficial (so I tell myself).

Intend on coming out to my mum and sister – About the 4^th tattoo. Sheeks…what were you thinking.

Plan to do some reading – Colour Purple & God of Small Things. (D, I promise).

Not to be intimidated by sister’s (current) fitness obsession. I am on a holiday, for crying out loud.

Will blog. At least will try.

Take tippanies (pointers) from Blog Readers on popular hot-stops @ above mentioned cities. So do the do people.