Kindly Adjust

Ever noticed how often we, as a race, use this word? There is actually no Hindi equivalent of adjust, which is just as well, because we have plucked that word from its native vocabulary and planted it in our own homegrown context, Indianising it to such an extent, that even the most well ‘adjusted’ Hindi speakers amongst us won’t think twice before using it.

Adjust: to compromise, to make some allowances, to make do. After all, sab chalta hain na.

So, a few days ago, I opened my Inbox to find myself part of a mass mailer from dear friend Parmesh Shahani inviting a bunch of us to Hilton to munch over the different aspects of Indian Identity. The group included professors from Havard, playwrights and authors. And then there was me. Whose identity, written in a bracket after the name, said only one word. Blogger. (How cool is that?)

So adjustment toh karna hi pada. Power lunch ka sawaal tha.

There I was, seated between Sooni Taraporewala and Namita Devidayal, munching on some seriously good food (at Indiana Jones – the red curry there is to die for), when Kavita Daiya, author of Violent Belongings – Partition, Gender and National Culture in Post Colonial India, asked Parmesh how he felt negotiating his identity after the release of his book Gay Bombay.

Parmesh, who looked absolutely awesome in his white angarkha -style kurta, black jeans and chunky pendant said something that made me think. “My identity is basically different identities adjusting with each other,” he said. Like in the VIP Frenchie commercial, he said, he too makes adjustments to reconcile (?) all aspects – right from his sexuality to the fact that he hates driving.

This adjustment line was literally like a light bulb moment for me– Images of the commercial played in my head, and Fuck, it’s so true. We are always adjusting – to the quantity of water the milkman adds to the milk, to your dog which poops only after you’ve returned from your morning walk, to the potholed road that the BMC will never do anything about, to the traffic snarls and the car that doesn’t indicate and overtakes from the left. It doesn’t end there of course. We are always making adjustments – to family, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, no friends, only friends. Ok, you get my point. Thoda idhar se thoda udhar se – shifting – that’s our daily ka routine.

Seeing the ad again made me think of it in a totally different light – guess sometimes it takes some good red Thai curry and a friend with a right turn of phrase to get you to see things that are otherwise staring at your face.

(*Picture Source : Verve Magazine)