No Pride But Gay

While the three other metropolitan cities of India had the Gay Pride, Mumbai’s non participation was definitely a subject of much debate and bewilderment.

I mean, if Delhi could have it, then how come the most recognized city on the Indian map, the city of dreams, the fabled city of chill and chic, didn’t?

‘Hypocrisy’ is the one-word answer I got when I posed this question to a Gay friend. Apparently, there is much infighting and lack of unity among the various Gay groups and NGOs in the city. The divides runs deep between the classes and the masses, and never the twain shall meet – or so he said.

The white-collared lot happily goes about its business without caring about ‘burning’ issues like rights or laws, said another Gay friend. In Mumbai, it seems, not many can be bothered enough to dress up and walk the streets the way they did in Delhi, Bangalore and Kolkata. But the same does not hold true for parties, I recently discovered.

Boy do they dress up there, and boy, do they party.

In snooty South Mumbai, I experienced my first of such parties. As a straight person, one doesn’t often get to see this side of Mumbai, and my Gay friend was only happy to take me along to one of the dos. Us three straight chics and five strapping Gay lads.

They say that first impressions are the lasting ones. Well I had more than my share of first impressions:

I often wondered where all the cute men have gone. Now I know.
Indian men can dance. Rephrase that – Gay Indian men can dance – the pelvic thrust being an extremely popular move.
Swapping partners, a common thing.
Several men. Five women. Not one got a second look. (I’m talking about the women.)
The ladies toilet isn’t just for the ladies. If you know what I mean.
Makeshift bedrooms, the restrooms.
Celebrity spotting. No Karan Johar though. Or his better half.
And… the best bit… all of the above happening on top of a family restaurant.

The pride may not have happened in Mumbai. And it’s probably more than just lack of unity between Gay groups. After all how can we forget our political mai-baap also play moral police at the drop of a hat.

But, who says the pride in their identity isn’t there?

(* Pic : Times of India)

Check out the YouTube Video Footage. Some powerful stuff.

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Comments

11 comments | Add your comment »

IdeaSmith
Jul 1st, 2008 at 6:16 am | #

Hmph. *mutter mutter* thoughtyouwereafriendandallthatIMNOTTALKINGTOYOU!!

Patrix
Jul 1st, 2008 at 8:54 pm | #

I’m sure there is more to the gay community in Mumbai than swapping partners and making out in the ladies bathroom. How about hanging out with the ‘blue-collared gay community’ and comparing the two?

Saakshi O. Juneja
Jul 2nd, 2008 at 6:42 am | #

IdeaSmith : Next time you be my date. By God kasam.

Patrix : Definitely there is much more than just sleeping around. However the atmosphere of the club gave me an impression that it was mostly about sex. But then this could be; sex between steady lovers or just one night stands. Basically a place where no one was being judged, questioned or threatened.

But what was rather shocking was (some) of the reactions towards the other part of their larger community aka. Gay women. One fella, assuming that me and my friend were gay too…gave us a low down look, remarking “oh, lesbians!”.

As for blue-collareds, well I am trying to get in touch with couple of key-persons. So lets see.

moallif
Jul 3rd, 2008 at 5:13 am | #

Hey!
The video is really nice. I’ll mail you a couple more. Reminds me of my andolan days – the song was the same, just the lyrics were different. A couple of my friends went to the Pride in Delhi, and they said that the atmosphere was simply electric. Honestly, can’t understand why Mumbai didn’t have one of its own.

Sachin
Jul 3rd, 2008 at 7:27 am | #

Sakshi,

1) Bombay did not have its pride on June 29 with other cities. This is because the activist groups in Bombay had decided to have the Bombay Pride on August 16/17, which we want to celebrate as Gayzadi Din (Gay Independence, the day after India’s independence).

2) Contrary to what you have heard, various gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals and groups are working together in Bombay to make the upcoming Pride parade a success.

3) Bombay has always had a history of grassroots and conscientious activism, not only in queer issues but many others like the environment and women’s rights, and strong alliances of support exist between them.

4) Its sad to see that you have fallen for the stereotype that rich = uncaring and poor = activist. The Bombay gay community has consistently supported activism and people come together across class and other divisions to work. An example is the Anti-Section 377 protest at Flora Fountain, Mumbai on August 16, 2005, where a hundred people from sexual minorities gathered to protest the anti-sodomy law, and collected 2000 signatures in the campaign to repeal the discriminatory section 377.

5) Your comment about bathroom = bedroom is an indication of your ignorance and hunger for sensationalism, rather than the reality. Gay men are not animals. Gaybombay parties for example are safe, non-sexual environments for people to socialise. Did you enter the men’s loo and see “bedroom activities” with your own eyes? On what basis are you propogating such malicious stereotypes?

Sakshi, do get your facts right before writing about the gay community. You may be albeit unwittingly, contributing to the already-deep discrimination that they face.

Saakshi O. Juneja
Jul 3rd, 2008 at 8:21 am | #

Sachin, Thanks for writing in and sharing your views with us. However, let’s just trackback a bit to what I wrote, and hopefully sort out your… er, misunderstanding(s).

1.When I was heading to the party, a day before the Prides were taking place in a number of cities in India, and worldwide, the first question I couldn’t help but ask was why was it not happening in Mumbai. The answers I got were the opinions of two Gay friends (one of whom is a well-respected member of the Gay community): Lack of activist sentiment, and the class divide.

Your description of unity despite the class divide and grassroot activism is heartening, as it is also, your opinion. As an outsider, I am neither judging, nor expecting homogeneity. Simply keeping in mind that there are two sides to a coin always, and it’ll do well for you to remember that too Sachin.

2.As for sensationalising things, that was never the intention. Making out happens across all clubs and dancefloors and they’re not the least ‘unsafe’ because of that. So I’m kind of scratching my head wondering where did that comment of yours come from!

I didn’t enter the guys loo, but I did enter the Ladies (figures, no?) and did see people getting busy there. Once again, while this may not happen in loos in straight clubs (’cause, making out still happens far more surreptitiously), it does happen on the dance floor. Where on earth did you get sensationalism or typification from this! It was simply an observation, as stated.

Protect your rights, but don’t be so quick to assume others are impinging. Kind of becomes an exercise in making loud noises.

See you at the Pride

faiz
Jul 4th, 2008 at 9:57 am | #

I often wondered where all the cute men have gone. Now I know. Saks you cant stop can u?

Nazim
Aug 19th, 2008 at 7:53 pm | #

Hi all,

I heard about the pride parade a couple of weeks ago.
It was quite intriguing for me to witness and be a part of it, but a last minute engagement kept me away from it.
Sakshi’s straight forward observation jotted down and Sachin’s defensive counter arguments seems to be valid.
I was not present there but few friends were, i’m glad that finally a parade like that happened in my city.
Squabbling about or over its date of commencement is of no importance now, that would only intensify quibbling; which i believe is not in the interest of the gay community as a part and society as a whole.
The most important aspect that we all tend to over look is the dynamics of this whole process (Gays, Lesbians etc).
Its well complicated in its nature as it goes against the nature (as perceived by the straighter clan),
its abominable by the so called impotent social standards and impaired values,
it deserves the most stringent of comminations by the rigid riligious lobby,
its a victim of poitically undesirable and socially untouchable stand of the government as well as the other political forces..
and we all know why…..
yes, we ourselves are to be blamed for this deroga(y)tory approach fromsociety because within the gay community itself there are segregations as guys are look down up on depending on their preferential role play (something i still am not able to understand).
With varied preferential sexual permutations and combinations, the gay community in whole lacks the musculinity it originated from.
c’on sweethearts, there is more to talk about, write on and struggle for then to trivilise the whole issue by arguments ans counter attacks.
Yes Shakshi, guys do go for a mid-dance snaks in loos and restrooms and they even show their perkishness on the dance floor as well..
And Sachin, even you know that the gay community is equally immaculate in its conducts like the straight one, your defence is not at all justified.
Shakshi has got a point or rather points are raised in her observations.
Three cheers for you sweetheart…
As for parties ( i refrain from parties), i prefer to stay away from a larger gay gatherings ( i’ve a sexually cosmopolitan group of friends who frequents coffee shops and book shops) because gays have this weak tendencies to out do women folks in which ever possible manner they could and losetheir identity as guys who have affinity for/towards other guys.
the best way i could contribute to the gay community is my Barista regular buddies i interact with regularly and they are all level headed straights.
my coming out to them was shoking initially and disbelief later as i was too macho to be gay for them, not their fault entirely, for the stereotyped were shown in movies, plays were so badly hammered on people’s wits that a gay guy for them is some guy who is less then a guy and more then a woman,
who is effiminate, where make-up, wigs and cross dresses.
we are a multi layered society and the best example of the melting pot theory, i guess some more time is needed to commingle.
If by any chance, my comments offended the sentiments of some part of the gay populace, my appologies for the same.
Members can hit back on my mail id – durrani@in.com

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