The ‘M’ Word Part 7 : Love Sacrifice

(This post is not mine. A reader, who wishes to remain anonymous sent it in, and I’m including it as part of the M word series. This piece I feel provides another perspective to the whole marriage issue. Only goes to show how many sides there are to the ‘M’ coin.)

Society makes marriage out to be such an important aspect of life, even if it isn’t so for some people. One can’t but help but get angry with the way things are but at the same time, there’s very little one can do. Society is so important that most people do things just to appease it, at the cost of their own desires.

Take the case of our parents. No sooner does the daughter turn a certain age that they begin to worry what so-and-so said: “Oh! Your daughter is working now and is growing older, don’t you want to get her married?” Pressure from society leads to unnecessary tension in the house. Do the so-and-so of our life really matter? They will only talk for 3-4 days, then calm down and accept the situation. Should we really base our actions on what other people think is right?

There are still millions of people out there living with their own old beliefs and they don’t look like they’re changing themselves any time soon. They educate their children, send them abroad for higher studies, make them capable of earning well, but expect them, in the end, to follow their (the parents’) way. I agree, one should do things for the family and parents but the family should give the children the right to live their life the way they want to. Especially with respect to their choice of a life partner.

I have been a victim of the above situation. I belong to a Punjabi family and my parents are strict, so love marriage was out of question from the very beginning. Still, I fell in love and was madly in love with this guy who belonged to a different caste. I knew the situation I was going to be in, but I was ready to fight for him, stand by him, adjust into his family (he has a different lifestyle altogether). I’d like to think of myself as a modern girl belonging to today’s age, but like a true Indian girl, I want to live with the person I love and make his home, cook for him, be with him, make his family and live my life. I do work and I would have loved to have a home to which I could have contributed.

But his parents wanted to get their son married in the same caste, so we’ve parted ways. He got engaged two weeks ago, and has supposedly ‘moved on’ but I’m still in a miserable state. I’m unable to see a direction in life. I really loved him from my heart and soul and never thought he would ever leave me.

Parents, under societal pressure and their own beliefs, don’t stop to consider their child’s happiness. They would never admit it, but their actions are all done under societal pressure. Instead they’d say, “Such a thing is not OK in our system.”

I loved a wonderful person and he would have done anything for his family. Trust me that’s what he did. Though he loved me, he was ready to sacrifice his love for his family’s happiness. I wish his parents would realize that their son made such a big sacrifice for their happiness and let him marry the girl he wants to.

• Culture, Guest Post, India, New Age Thinking, Random Thoughts, Religion & Traditions, Women
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