When they were alive, their relatives tried to keep them apart. After they killed themselves on Saturday, the relatives agreed to cremate them together on Sunday.
Christy Jayanthi Malar (38) and Rukmani (40), who set themselves ablaze after being abused by their families who objected to their "unnatural relationship," got a joint cremation at the Moolakothalam corporation cremation grounds near Basin Bridge. [Times of India]
Shocking. Appalling. Disgusting. Well not really. I mean what else can be expected from a society which still prefers to follow the norms of bygone years.
However what truly amazes me is the convenient logic people come up with to pacify or rather burn out their guilt. As in this case; by assigning a common resting place for Christy and Rukmani, the guilty relatives believe they have finally set all wrongs, right.
But have they? Then again does it really matter now; Christy and Rukmani are dead.
And if the act of taking one’s own life in such brutal manner is not disturbing enough, we have assholes appointed as protectors who without a thought for the departed go ahead citing reasons justifying the acts of the culprits.
A senior police officer said action would not be taken against the relatives. "We can’t say the relatives pushed the women into suicide. They might have verbally abused them, but that was to bring them back to normal life," a senior police officer said.
One seriously wonders what normalcy is all about.
Dowry deaths are normal. Female infanticide is normal. Wiping out homosexuals is normal. Killings in the name of religion are normal. Pushing someone to the very edge where death is the only option out is normal.
Comments
7 comments | Add your comment »
IdeaSmith
May 19th, 2008 at 10:24 am | #
Your last statement holds true for a lot of things including inter-caste, inter-religion associations, alternate study and career choices. There’s the overwhelming need to control the lives of people we are related to, inter-twined with the fear and unwillingness to accept truths that lie outside our comfort zone.
Your rage is justified. I’m just sorry for the families who’ll always have to live with that awful realization of “Too late”. It can’t be easy being there either. Give it time, we’re evolving as a culture.
Gaurav
May 19th, 2008 at 10:57 am | #
Its a shame to see such drastic steps had to be taken just to be with the one you love. Excepting one’s personal preference is such a deal even today its shocking.
R
May 19th, 2008 at 2:37 pm | #
Trailblazers in society need to be strong — its takes a lot of guts to challenge the norm. I wish, for the sake of advancing society, that the couple were stronger than this.
This doesn’t take blame away from the relatives (whether they are criminally liable is another issue but this can’t be morally acceptable). I wonder if part of the problem is that parents in India society (and elders in general) are held to such high esteem that people are taught not to question them. why do people not feel independent enough to leave bigoted parents behind ? Is the dependence deep enough to rather commit suicide ? Its amazing how many times have I heard people defending racist/sexist views of the grandparents. And these are well educated software engineers living half way across the world and should have 5 decades worth of societal advancement from that generation.
Broom
May 19th, 2008 at 9:20 pm | #
I hope my parents read this.
Silvara
May 20th, 2008 at 2:57 am | #
I just shook my head in disbelief as I read this…
As I have advocated many times before – love is love without any regards to things like caste, colour or gender but it’s going to take a whole lot more before people even START to think about moving outside their box of ‘normal’.
PS – Broom I didn’t blog for a while and you’re protected again!! *sob* Can I get an invite pwetty pweese??
Smriti
May 20th, 2008 at 6:15 am | #
Well agreed we are still growing as a culture but how many more sacrifices will be made under that pretense. Sad. Sad is all I can say.
A Rebel
May 21st, 2008 at 5:29 pm | #
I was somewhat in similar shoes few years ago. Believe me if you think now is bad than you have no clue how horrible it was then. Sucidal thoughts did cross my mind afterall easy way out options are always tempting. But my will to live as who I am proved to be stronger.
Today I am living without any family association and though its painful at times, personaly I couldn’t be happier.