The Great Indian Laughter Show

Here is a list of pointers jotted down by yours truly to help you understand the workings of political nautanki, such as rallies, morchas, ceremonies, processions, etc etc, especially when they end up right outside your doorstep.

1. It’s your previous life’s good karma that a well-established national party, given a vast list of choices, picked your ghar ka (ya office ka) lane for their deed.

2. It’s an act of social service when you are forced requested to partly finance their deed. No, I don’t say so but our area’s well-respected and connected gunda thinks so.

3. Gone are the days of desh bhakti-inspired music. Nowadays it’s a tough call between Himesh Reshammiya and Smack That.

4. Your worldly possessions (for example – your car, your freshly painted walls, etc etc) hold no value in front of makeshift billboards, ugly wall posters or even a scraggy wooden table used for stocking garlands for the grand reception.

5. Suddenly, the afore-mentioned lane, erstwhile largely ignored by the BMC, becomes a site for the corporation’s latest ‘cleanliness drive’ zeal – roads are smoothened out, and they become clean and shiny in a matter of a few hours. And then with equal (or at times more) enthusiasm, they’re returned to the original (if not worse) state once the rally is over. The circle of life, no doubt.

6. Road traffic takes a whole new meaning on such glorious occasions.

7. Never seen Cirque Du Soleil in person? Fikar not. Just drop in one of these political events – much fun guaranteed. And if you are good, you might be fortunate enough to witness rare stunts such as this.

8. A must-see example for upcoming political aspirants on "How to blow-up tax-payers money in 20 minutes flat".

And last but certainly the most important.

9. Betterment of the nation – Hmmm. What the fuck is that? No seriously.

Ah. Such joys of life, I tell ya.