Being Sexually Fluid

Broom’s recent post over at Confessions From The Closet is truly a heartfelt piece I have read in a very long time. This particular write up is basically her reply to those questioning her sexual identity – Bisexual or Lesbian?

What I find most impressive are not only her thoughts on alternate sexuality but also her courage to be open about “the” confused state of mind a person in similar shoes experiences.

She writes…

What I do know is that I’m comfortable calling myself “bisexual”. It’s less “different” or “deviant” or “alternate” than being a “lesbian “. And I wish we didn’t live in a world where I didn’t have to marginalize myself like this. I wish I didn’t feel like it’s more acceptable to be part of a bigger group than a minority.

So true na. Agreed we are living in the 21^st century and yes, our society has evolved to a larger extent but sadly, our tendency to categorize everything (especially people) around us hasn’t changed. Many of us continue live a life of nothing but facade, just to be a part of that bigger group because we aren’t strong enough to face reality.

Talking about personal experience, I too get asked questions doubting my sexuality, every now and then. I have noticed that if you are single, never been married and shudder at the thought of marriage – people for some forsaken reasons get inquisitive about your bedroom habits, like “dal mein kuch kala hain” sorts. Simple explanations like “I am not ready for a lifelong commitment”, isn’t good enough and so the only foreseeable conclusion is – either you are involved with an already committed individual or you are gay (and in some cases, both).

If such queries are posed by close friends (one of them has actually made it a habit now), my answer is simple – I think myself to be sexually fluid. The reason being, life is full of twists & turns and so who knows which side of grass I may prefer, let’s say couple of years from now. However I will admit that I wouldn’t even dare to utter the same words to my folks; if I were living away from home, if I were living thousands millions of miles away from this country, then the story might be a little different. So with a sincere heart I say this – hats off to those who have the galls to live their lives on their own terms.

As a closing note, all I have to say is -

Dear Broom, even though you see a lot of “homophobia” around you in a foreign desh, believe me you are still much better off because in your own homeland you are bound to find a hundred more rigid minds. Ah! And not to forget those who master the art of emotional blackmailing (namely family).

With regards to your ending question, yes finding that perfect one is all that matters (irrespective of all the shit that goes around) and looking at you & The Girl, I am re-assured that, yes! there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Wishing you two the very best, now and forever.