Kutting Koffee Awards 2007
This Sunday happened to be the finale of Koffee with Karan, Season 2. Though I found the second installment of Karan’s Koffee to be a lot more masaladar when compared to the previous season but with a disappointing feeling in my heart, I have to say the finale totally didn’t do it for me.
The so-called judges on Koffee Awards 2007 were either diplomatic or biased or downright butt waxing, though I felt VJ Cyrus did his best to be innovative but was repeatedly snubbed aside by the likes of Maliaka Khan Arora and fashion designer, Rohit Bal (Is he really Indian?).
For many months now I have been watching Karan and his guests sipping the cups of Bollywood gossips and small talks, week after week, almost religiously – And so in order to get over my discontent with regards to Kjo’s farewell party, I have decided to stage out my very own Kutting Koffee Awards 2007. Here I hand out awards under categories which were sadly over-looked by Karan and his panel of judges but nonetheless made Season 2, a highly entertaining series for me and most definitely many others.
FYI, while selecting the recipients of Kutting Koffee Awards, I swear to Not have been partial, bribed or a sucker but Only my true nasty self.
So without wasting any more blog space and your virtual time, I present to you Kutting Koffee Awards 2007.
Most Ugly Fugly Award
Female - A very close call between actress Kajol and soap Queen Ekta Kapoor but with “black” dress, matching lipstick and to top it all, that horrendous laugh, Kajol managed extra brownie points over Ekta Mata.
Better Luck next time Ekta darling, maybe you need to take some handy tips from our winner.
Male - Without any doubt; the man who makes my dog’s butt crack look sexier and fondly known as scarecrow personified, Mr. Kunal Kapoor.
Most Awful Hair-do Award
Considering that Karan hires top-of-line stylists for his esteemed show, wonder how these two managed to slip under his scanner.
Female - Madhuri Dixit, she reminded me of the late 60s and early 70s Hindi actresses and their ghosla style, puffed up hairstyle. Otherwise she looked pretty but way too skinny for my taste.
Male - Shah Rukh Khan and his Barbie-like tresses in Om Shanti Om PR episode.
All-Whore-Out Award
Female - Mallika Sherawat wins hands down for many obvious reasons. But especially for this dialogue, “I suffer from this psychological clinical disorder called Superiority Complex”.
Male – Would have loved to hand it over to John Abraham but he is more suited for the ‘dim-witted’ section and so I found Hrthik Roshan to be most suited instead. Mr. Roshan agreed you looked no less than a Greek God but dude, it only takes one flop film to stumble down the popularity ladder. Time to get rid-off the high headiness and land back on Planet Earth.
WWOTS (Why Why on the Show) Award
Female – A toss between Soha Ali Khan and mother-daughter duo of Hema Malini and Esha Deol. But will hand it to the Deol ladies – cause mama was most interested in fixing her sari while the daughter had question mark expression written all over her face. Maybe she was wondering the same thing as moi; what in the God’s name are we doing here!
Male – Kunal Kapoor for sure. And for the last time; No! He is not a sex symbol.
Reality Bites Award
Actress Karisma Kapoor was handed best supporting appearance award for her stint in Bebo-Shahid episode, I just found this to be so ironic considering that Kareena darling and Shahid are no longer the perfect Jodi. Look Kjo what you did, you so jinxed them!
Wah Kya Family Hai Award
The first family of Bollywood totally deserves this award. The Kapoor brothers were absolute pleasure to watch and they turned every single moment into a laugh-riot. I thought Radhir Kapoor tagging Neetu Kapoor as the Baba Ramdev of the family was utterly hilarious.
Muah-fut Line of the Season
Now seriously, don’t you think Kareena Kapoor and her ruthless fact to the core “John Abraham is expressionless” statement warrants this award.
Moment of Truth Award
Shah Rukh Khan finally answered to all the rumors over his coziness with Karan Johar, when he acknowledged the possibility of waking up with Kjo in the same bed.
And last but certainly the most important award of the season…
Paisa Vasool Episode Award
Am sure most of you are aware of my choice for this award. Yes! People its Rakhi Sawant and her famous “Jo cheese God nahi deta, woh Doctor deta hai” quote.
That’s it, Folks! Looking forward to some more Kjo bashing in the next season, the only difference being instead of Star Plus branded beans we are most likely to be served the new NDTV make.
[Cross-Posted on DesiDabba]
We all have a right to express our views. In many instances; it will be against ours and in some; with us. To hear them out is 'decency' but to let them get to you is 'weakness'. 
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
Trackback Address
Comments
11 comments | Leave your comment
Sep 18th, 2007 at 2:44 pm | #
Yeah, I saw glimpses of that episode.. the Koffee awards ..
What about Himesh Reshamiya ???
Sep 19th, 2007 at 5:27 am | #
LOL!
Completely with you on the “All-Whore-Out Award”, Mallika was so desperately trying to impress SLB and KJ all in the hope of them casting her in their next ventures.
Sep 19th, 2007 at 4:32 pm | #
Shadows - Himesh episode was Okay sorts. I was expecting some fire and agressive responses from his end but he seemed to be stuck at pleasing the “1%” who don’t think highly of him.
Thinking of it now, he could have easily won the “Flaring Nose Award”….though Hrthik Roshan could have given him some competition.
Jason - Thanks.
Sep 19th, 2007 at 10:13 pm | #
Um. Er. I thought the season finale was going to be with the ultra irritating Bachchan couple?
Sep 20th, 2007 at 1:59 am | #
Anamika - Me too was under the same impression. But I am guessing either of the two things happened :-
a) Shah Rukh Khan had a role to play in this.
or
b) Kjo decided to use the “starry” couple for his NDTV venture.
Sep 20th, 2007 at 4:12 pm | #
ROFL! Again! I was in peels of laughter the first time you used the “my dog’s butt crack” line, it did the same for me again. Maybe you should put up a poll, “Which one’s sexier?” Kunal Kapoor’s pic should be easy to find online, have fun taking the other one. That would be one heck of a burn for the scarecrow as you call him, if he loses the poll.
Sep 21st, 2007 at 12:03 pm | #
Totally agree about Hritik. He just kept mumbling and fumbling and trying to say smart lines, failing miserably.
Sep 21st, 2007 at 3:13 pm | #
You should have also had a “Most Crickets Chirping Award” with Aishwarya and Sanjay Leela Bhansali. They were such a creepy jodi. Karan even looked bored in that one. For the funniest award, I would have picked the one with Abhishek and Preity when they were talking about men who throw themselves at Karan for roles! I couldn’t stop laughing in that one. Disclaimer: my love for Abhishek has nothing to do with how funny it was!!
Nice blog!
Sep 22nd, 2007 at 3:09 am | #
Yr awards are certainly funnier & more interesting than the boring TV show we had to put up with for 2 hours last week……..wake up & smell the coffee Kjo, its time to get creative…….
Sep 22nd, 2007 at 6:50 am | #
Sumit : Thank you so much. Glad to know you find my dog’s butt joke highly entertaining.
Matt : Exactly, he was giving such rubbish replies….especially the one about Salman and Aamir being shorter in height. I just find him way too snobbish now.
Menakshi : Well this review was based on Season 2 and not Season 1. But you are correct Preity and Abhishek episode from Season 1 was hilarious. They both just talk so much….that it’s unlikely not to be entertained. And Aishwarya came across as just a fake though I was most dissapointed with Sushmita Sen…
Ana D-P : Thank you Ana. Well hopefully with NDTV there would be some good change.
Oct 3rd, 2007 at 5:22 pm | #
All I can say is ‘ouch’… that was harsh!
Leave a comment
Comment Guidelines:
You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted.
Email addresses will never be published.