I have always been of the opinion that we, the Punjabis are very much the happy-go-lucky sorts. Be it about religion, patriotism, cultural do’s and don’ts or society as a whole – we simply can’t be bothered. Punjus (as we are fondly nicknamed at times) are very much content within the boundaries of Tandoori Chicken and Johnny Walker, however as it is often witnessed Human Behavior can totally surprise you or at times knock your mind off with Horror.
And this is a Horror Story.
On the weekend I met up with an old friend, hectic work schedules and over demanding family lives had kept us apart for months, so I was really glad to finally get an evening out with her.
Coming from an upper-middle class Punjabi background, things haven’t been easy for Shamita (*name changed) as one would have imagined. Closing to 30 and still un-married is a big deal and I say this from experience. But I guess for Shamita things are a lot tougher since her parents seem to be at their wits end and practically curse their fate at every given opportunity for giving life to two daughters and NO sons.
In the last few months, she has been Checked Out by over 30 prospective men – some single, some divorcees, some decent, some horny, some monetarily lecherous and some who didn’t give a shit. Not that she had been choosey; in fact it was her who was deemed not up to the mark by most of these men. The main hurdle as seen by her family and the enquiring opposite side is the fact that Shamita’s older sister is a divorcee with a 5 year old daughter and she also happens to live with them.
Yes, just this small insignificant fact has turned away many families from their doorstep and countless others who don’t find them worthy enough for consideration for their Prince Charming.
Sipping the coffee, she was spilling out her horror stories one after the other and I could feel the anger pumping inside of me with every passing moment; anger towards her family, anger towards those sick thinking men and their families, anger towards my own community. But Shamita had no such feelings, I kept searching for pain on her face, in her eyes, in her words and found nothing – guess this is what happens when one’s self-respect gets kicked around like a football, you just become Immune.
Couple of weeks back she met a guy via the arranged route, he was nice and very understanding of her family’s state of affairs. They met twice again after the first meeting. With the boy’s approval, her family decided to take things a step further and invited his family over for lunch. The entire duration of 120 odd minutes, not even once did his mother bothered to talk to Shamita. His sister seemed to be least interested and was busy taking office calls (so she claims) every few minutes. The boy himself and his dad were the only ones following a civil behavior.
The next morning, she was woken up by her father who looked as if he had dipped his face in a bucket of tears and sorrow. And the reason once again was the “Rejection” from the other side. Her parents had called up the boy’s father basically to know their decision and this is what the man on the other side of the phone said….
“Jab hum market mein gaadi khareedne jatein hai toh pehele dekhte hain ki uspe koi dent ya daag na ho. Humhe bhi ek saaf sutara model chahiye joh aap ki beti nahi hai.”
Pardom my Hindi here but seriously these bloody chutes need to get the engines of their brains repaired first before pointing fingers on others. I mean for crying out loud, not that there is anything wrong in the first place but anyway these people knew her family situation right from the word “go” then what sort of a bullshit excuse was that. Even forget that, if they had to say “No” surely there were many other polite options to do so.
Really such people piss me off; we can’t even begin to imagine what the girl’s father must have felt on hearing those heart-piercing words and what about Shamita’s humiliation.
I did my best to consol her as a friend but frankly how much can mere “words” help in such high-drama, real-life circumstances. The later part of the evening, I couldn’t get myself to think beyond her life and I have to admit that there were those selfish moments where I thanked God for making the grass so much more greener on my side.
Previous Posts – Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3
Feeling Good Inside…
If you feel deterred because of the dreadful amount of effort it takes to hit upon what you are looking for, cheer up because you are one step closer to your goal….
Trackback by Feeling Good Inside — January 4, 2008 at 9:14 am | #