Koffee With Karan, Ep. 209 : Who The Fuck Is Kunal Kapoor?

Well I have been meaning to do a review of Koffee With Karan’s episode starring the so called “Brat-Pack” of today’s Bollywood industry, namely Kunal Kapoor, Ritesh Deshmukh and Konkona Sen Sharma. But blame it on folks like Mandira Bedi, Femina Miss India 2007 and Beyonce Knowles for taking up my precious blogging time.

Anyways getting back to the review of this particular episode – In plain words, I found it to be the crappiest of all the aired lot from Season Two. I guess the basic fault here were the chosen guests themselves; they were boring, way too diplomatic, “zero” chemistry and some even received highly-exaggerated words of praises (by the host) when they so did not deserve it. In short, had it not been for Konkona, I would have switched the channel at the very start.

To make things clearer, let’s take a look at each of the invited actors.

Guest No. 1, Ms. Konkona Sen Sharma.

Koko baby (as she is lovingly nicknamed) looked smart and jazzy in her black, red and denim blue outfit. Much better than the sari she had worn in Season 1 which made her look a little “auntyish”, so it was a relief to see the woman finally look her age. Now we all know she is an amazing actress and on most occasions it is taken for granted that no matter how pathetic the movie is, Koko would still turn out to be her best. But besides her acting skills, it’s also her laidback, non-competitive attitude that makes her coolness appear so hot. However the complete denial of her close relationship with fellow co-star Ranvir Shorey was disappointing, I mean yaar jab pyar kiya toh darna kya. Another crap she threw our way was her statement that she would give up 100s of Namesake roles to do her mother’s (Aparana Sen) films, anytime. Well if she really meant this than how come she signed on two Yash Chopra films instead of doing her mum’s The Japanese Film. The fact is no matter how great you are in parallel cinema, everybody still wants to be a part of masala films.

Besides the above two nooks, I thought she did alright. But was a total mismatch with the two pea-sized brains sharing the couch with her. I would have preferred her with the likes of Mira Niar, Shabana Azmi or Ajay Devgan.

Guest No. 2, Mr. Kunal Kapoor.

Koi mujhe please baatyeh ki yeh langoor “most sought after hero” kab ban gaya. First and foremost, it was total waste to have him on the show; the guy is still far from being even labeled as an actor. Okay so he was chosen for his act in Rang De Basanti but boss, here the credit should be given to the writer and the director of film who made the job a cakewalk for him. His real acting capabilities can be judged from his stint in the recently released film, Hattrick – the bottom line is in-comparison even someone like pakora-faced Emraan Hashmi looks like a national award winner. Now we all know via the show that he and Hrithik Roshan are childhood buddies, which also explains him copying his friend’s talking-style and (irritating) smartass attitude.

And what is with the whole “pin-up boy” and “sexy symbol” lingoes being associated with him, for crying out loud my dog’s butt crack is far more worth it than this man’s sexiness.

The thing is if Karan really wanted to pick someone from the RDB team than he should have gone with either Siddharth or Atul Kulkarni. Even someone like Sharman Joshi would have added some flavor to Karan’s Koffee but instead we were severed a bland one.

Moving on to Guest No. 3, Mr. Ritesh Deshmukh.

Ritesh…hmmm…Ritesh, well I would say he is one of those people who are bearable only on the big screen and not real life. The man was duddest of the two (Kunal Kapoor) and his diplomacy, hiii rabba I rather have G. P. Dutta’s Umroa Jaan put me to sleep than hear this man talk. I say like father like son, right no?

Fine bhai, I agree I am being way too nasty here but the guy totally ticked me off with his insulting side-remark on my mostest favorite and bestest item girl, Rakhi Sawant. For those who don’t know, Ritesh was asked in the Rapid-fire round as to what his reaction would be if Rakhi Sawant accused him of smooching her? In his “I am such a dude” manner he replied “I would tell her, in your dreams”. Ha Ha Ha….we get your point, bloody squinted moron.

This mostly roundups my bitching session but before I wrap up, here are my two bits for host, Karan Johar.

1. You mess with Rakhi Sawant means you mess with me and my gundas. And yes, this is a threat.
2. Kjo darling everybody knows you prefer to swing the other way, so stop acting like a drama queen whenever the word “homosexuality” pops up.

[Cross-posted on DesiDabba]