Lady Doctor – “Congratulations, delicate sii princess hai!”
Brand new father- “Oh! Okay! Hmmmm……Are you sure?” (The look of horror to his system gleaming in his eyes)
Well this is the reaction I recently witnessed on the maternity floor of a local suburban hospital (a good friend’s older sister is the mother of the princess in question). Completely stunned, I thought I had heard something wrong but a similar reaction on my friend’s face backed my suspicion.
The surrounding feeling of excitement was suddenly replaced with disappointment or I can even go to the extent of saying “sadness”, as if these people were faced with a sudden death of a family member. I had to get out. But what just happened was something I couldn’t get over! His words, the expression on his face, forced smile on everyone else, an utter frustration cause second baby was once again a “girl-child”. I was flabbergasted; I could feel my stomach churning, you know with that sick feeling!
I know this is nothing new, even in this day and age we have families who consider having girl as nothing but added burden – we read/hear about it practically every second day. But to actually witness it in front of your very own eyes is no less than getting a hard smack on your face. It made me question; even reputed families with sound financial bank accounts and decent education were wondering what to do with a girl-child. Though I am certain that the family will get over this and definitely not go to the extremes in their desperation of wanting a “son”. But what about those who actually do? I mean they could abandon the new born or give her away or maybe even brutally discard the innocent soul.
That there were families still calculating the money to be spent on her until she was married away to someone they chose for her?
It wouldn’t be wrong to assume that mostly in such families only, the women are not allowed to voice their rights, to step out of the house without prior permissions, are expected to only cook and clean until the day ends, where they are only regarded as a lust machine to produce babies (sons preferred for sure).
Is she not capable of doing her family and country proud, considering the fact that her family can provide her with the best of means possible? Then why do they still think and act like people did in the stone-age!
An old saying that comes to mind while I write this post, and I guess it holds true to its very last words! “A son is a son until he gets his wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.”
We sit and laugh while watching those “beti-centric” tele-series, where the central character watches over her old parents when ill, who caters to their monthly needs of groceries and other necessities, who dutifully supports her overly-pampered brother and she does all this inspite of being mocked at time and time again by her own family and the society. But for us such acts are nothing but overly exaggerated truths and commercialized facts.
However we fail to realize that at times cinema only imitates our reality.
Comments
11 comments | Add your comment »
akanksha bali
Feb 2nd, 2007 at 2:09 pm | #
dis article is a clear reflection of india today…..v hav moved from huts to skyscrapers infrastructurally but da mindset of the average indian has not changed……….v still r forlorn when a daughter is born…..the sex ratio in india is still dipping………WHY????….the girl child is waiting for an answer…
Niren
Feb 2nd, 2007 at 7:55 pm | #
Ain’t we a bunch of hypocrites? Sure the same father would go out and get himself photographed with the same daughter, if she turns out to be some sport/cine star. And this is still a bit less, when people go to the extent of researching into the gender of the child and erasing all prospects of a life at a slightest doubt of the kid being a girl. Sick.
And for the sake of common-sense, whatever happened to the abundant supply of the X chromosome from daddy the great, who now frowns?
the mad momma
Feb 2nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm | #
its sad to read this because ppl want to have sons not for the pleasure of raising them, but for reasons like family pride, not having to give dowry etc… and yet as a mother i can understand wanting a particular sex.. i had a son two years ago and for three hours after the delivery i refused to look at him and cried because I wanted a girl so badly.. i blogged abt it too…links
today he is my life and i am expecting my second child.. i want a girl obviously! but i am so much more ready to embrace a boy if i do have one…
Sujatha
Feb 3rd, 2007 at 2:05 am | #
Amazing! Cannot understand that emotion at all (the one the new father went through). Is it any wonder the law prevents people from knowing the gender of the baby?!
Utsa
Feb 5th, 2007 at 6:28 am | #
Sakshi: We all know this used to happen but to learn that it still happens is sad beyond belief. Even worse to know that we boast about all new things and progression whilst still having a rigid and a completely narrow mindset even today.
It angers me to no end to know about such fathers/mothers/families that can be so insensitive and show no happiness at the birth of a little girl.
Saakshi O. Juneja
Feb 5th, 2007 at 6:31 am | #
Utsa – Believe me I feel the same. And what’s worse is to see such beliefs being practised by your own family members. I guess some things will never change.
BTW this post was not written by me but my friend GaZZal who is a guest blogger here.
Shan
Feb 5th, 2007 at 6:30 pm | #
I have also witnessed something similar in the Marwari family in Kolkata who I knew well. At the time of the delivery (second one – first was a daughter), the expctant father and uncles came to the hospital with wads of cash to blow when the son was born. Well, it turned out to be a daughter. The mood changed completely. They took all the cash back saying that they would out it in a fixed deposit to help on the newbord daughter’s wedding when the time came. Unbelievable!
I have never been able to talk straight to that family since that. I just avoid them.
But this seems to be a familiar scene in many communities and families, especially business ones.
Wasted Psuede
Feb 8th, 2007 at 12:25 pm | #
Just wonder about the reaction if the second child was a boy… collectively we have linked this to the issue of preference for a boy over a girl…if the same had happened about a boy ” oh no!! not another boy!” – I just wonder how many of you would have reacted the same way – would you have talked about the fact that knowledge of the gender could have have still be used to abort a male foetus??
shadows
Feb 9th, 2007 at 11:03 am | #
Sakshi, Gazzal,
Probably why such a thing happens amongst educated families is not dowry. Its the bad security situation for girls. What do you think? A girls parents are obviously much more concerned about the safety of their girl, than for a boy.
By the way, same here. My sisters in-laws. My sister had a son last year. My dad was saying – “Accha hai ladka hua hai” . I asked – why? wouldnt it have been good if it were a girl. And I was given a scolding (which I ignored conviniently).
Also, I think my sister’s husband is a c***tia. (I told her so too). I dont talk with him at all, and in fact, I am quite rude to their family. My mother asked me to be nice to them and follow all the formalities because they would then trouble my sister !!! (ignored again)
Niren
Feb 19th, 2007 at 3:52 am | #
Holy crap! Now look at this >>> http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/02/18/news/girls.php
It says, “India plans orphanages to raise unwanted girls”
Of course, it has both the sides of the argument, but the age we’re living in, and the way it is being proposed, it sort of legalises ‘unwanting’ of girls. Darn.
Shipra
Sep 16th, 2007 at 3:54 pm | #
It is a very true statement made ,that also in this jet age; where technology is growing so rapidly we are having so many female foeticide cases.Actually the number of this cases like baby killing are more linked with illetrate people as they think that there only earning hand can be a boy.