New-Age Investment Terms
Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
Institutional Investor - Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.
Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
And the winner is
Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
We all have a right to express our views. In many instances; it will be against ours and in some; with us. To hear them out is 'decency' but to let them get to you is 'weakness'. 
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2 comments | Leave your comment
Jan 7th, 2007 at 11:24 am | #
Not a joke, it’s actually true. Cool definitions for sure. I’m putting it on my blog too. Thanx
Jan 7th, 2007 at 4:12 pm | #
LOL. Good ones! I no longer see too many Bill Gates jokes, now that he’s more known for his philanthropy than Microsoft.
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