Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.
Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Day Trader – Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.
Standard & Poor – Your life in a nut shell.
Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.
And the winner is
Bill Gates – Where God goes for a loan.
Comments
2 comments | Add your comment »
Ranjan
Jan 7th, 2007 at 11:24 am | #
Not a joke, it’s actually true. Cool definitions for sure. I’m putting it on my blog too. Thanx
SHANTANU
Jan 7th, 2007 at 4:12 pm | #
LOL. Good ones! I no longer see too many Bill Gates jokes, now that he’s more known for his philanthropy than Microsoft.