On Affairs and Extra Marital Affairs

When I stepped out of a Manhattan theatre after watching “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” , I was eager to see the audience’s reaction to one of the most anticipated movie of this year. I stood quietly next to a pillar, perked up my ears and listened in on a conversation taking place between couple of middle-aged aunties. Then I heard the not-so-merry views of some desi-gals. No! I did not spend an entire evening standing outside, it’s just that I was waiting for a friend who had gone to the toilet and apparently the queue was very long (reason – no interval during the movie).

Anyway, getting back to the topic from what I understood people either really liked the movie or really hated it. As for me, I would put myself in the first category. Now don’t be shocked, I have my reasons. Agree the acting was lame, the direction was flawed but one cannot detest the underlying thought behind the movie i.e. Falling in love with another after marriage.

One may argue that this was not the first of its kind movie in Bollywood and that there have been numerous successful and accepted movies on the same topic. However one must also look at the differences between those movies and Karan Johar’s “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna”. One of most successful film based on extramarital affair in the past was Mahesh Bhatt’s “Arth”. Everything was commendable in this movie however in spite of its brilliance it was termed more as an ‘Art’ movie rather than a commercial Bollywood cinema. And therefore in a way was watched by only a certain section of the society.

From the recent times, film “Murder” (also based on love-ties after marriage) unlike “Arth” was a huge box-office hit. Obviously many other reasons contributed to its success, namely the lovemaking scenes. However just like your typical Hindi drama, the woman accepts her affair as a mistake and with that guilt goes back to her husband.

But when you compare the story line of the mentioned three movies, “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” indeed stands apart.

In my opinion the biggest drawback with “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” was the fact that it was made by Karan Johar. The Indian Society (be it in India or abroad) simply could not digest the fact that the same guy who glamorized the thoughts of un-dying love and family values, present them with a movie that basically disregards the previous two thoughts.

Also the usual double standard of the Indian mentality comes into play here. Many people disliked the movie because they did not believe that such incidents happen or take place in our India. They reasoned that how could someone so easily and naturally fall in-love with a stranger especially when both of them are married. Moreover how could an Indian father advice his daughter-in-law to leave his son if she doesn’t love him; for them it’s a more Westernized Culture and us Indians always give more importance to our name in the society than what is right thing to do. But everyone is aware of the fact that such after marriage love affairs (for whatever reasons) do take place in our very own neighborhood and in many cases have also accepted them as long as they remain away from the public eye.

The whole idea of a man or a woman breaking his/her sacred marriage vows and heading for a divorce because they have met someone else is still looked upon as a forbidden act by the society. But this very society wouldn’t mind a man or a woman (to a certain extent) continuing with their affair as long as they don’t leave their respective families and thereby maintain the rules put down by them.

In my opinion the latter concept seems much worse than the first. I mean what is the sense in sticking to a marriage where there is just nothing left to offer or share between the two partners. Just because you are worried about what the society or the extended families would think about you, is simply not a good enough reason – at the end of it all, its your life.

Even when it comes to kids, how can a child be happy living day-in and day-out with parents who don’t love each other and are simply role-playing for the sake of it? And the view that children from divorced marriages are more likely to turn out miserable and unsuccessful is simply irrational and out-dated.

So I would say that Karan Johar is indeed a brave soul to have risked his reputation and money on a story, which does play a part in our reality however is still so much ignored by our society that it refuses to believe in its existence. The only sad bit is that he was not able to leave behind his glamorous execution.

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PS: These are just my views and in no-way preaches or advocates extra-marital affairs.