Kinky Sex Scandal

I promise this would be my last story on the topic of Sex at least for the next few days. Don’t laugh, I really mean it (fingers crossed at the back).

Now this story has apparently taken British Political Sex Scandals to a whole new level. And believe me; it will surely make you think kinky stuff even if you claim yourself to be a saint.

Tommy Sheridan, a 42-year-old socialist member of the Scottish parliament with a round-the-year suntan and a taste for sharp suits, is suing the News of the World newspaper over allegations it made in 2004.

Under headlines like “My kinky 4-in-a-bed orgy with Tommy”, the newspaper claimed Sheridan cheated on his wife and went to seedy night clubs for group sex.

Obviously he has denied these so-called allegations.

“From four in a bed to five in a bed. From five in a bed to sex clubs, from sex clubs to champagne, from champagne to cocaine and from cocaine to orgies in a hotel slap bang in the middle of Glasgow,” Sheridan told the court yesterday, summing up the case against him.

“The allegations in the course of this case have been as numerous as grains of sand in the Sahara Desert …”

And if you must know, his wife is standing by his claim all the way. In fact she even appeared as a witness for his side.

Gail Sheridan, 42, gave a passionate defence of her husband and said she would have killed him and dumped his body in Glasgow’s river Clyde if she believed the allegations.

“You would be in the Clyde with a piece of concrete tied round you and I would be in court for your murder,” she said.

Gail Sheridan also said McGuire (a 32-year-old former prostitute who said she had sex with Sheridan over four years) had obviously never had sex with her husband because, if she had, she would have mentioned his hairy body in her kiss-and-tell revelations.

“You are like a monkey, so anybody rolling an ice cube around your body would end up with a hairball …” she told her husband across the packed court room. “There is more hair on your body than there is on your head.”

In a slightly back-handed defence of her husband, Gail Sheridan told the court he was “boring” and was more interested in playing Scrabble than socialising. He was not the kind of man who would indulge in group sex, she said.

Now if this is what his wife really thinks of him, no wonder the poor guy looks onto others to help him with the satisfaction process. If I was in his place, I would bloody hell sue my wife.

On the other hand, some of our politicians would be reading this story and thinking, “Kassh Mein Itna Kushnaseeb Hota”.