The ‘M’ word - Part 2

My recent trip to New Delhi to attend my first cousin’s wedding was simply awesome. It’s always great to get away from work, just to spend some time alone with your family as well other distant cousins whom you mostly get to see at wedding functions. However my trip wasn’t just filled with booze, dance and food.

This time round, the ‘M’ word had apparently crossed borders; it had traveled with me to Delhi. It was being used practically in every sentence with my name init. The bottom funda here is that, it’s just me and my cousin sister who are at the so-called ‘right age’ to take a plunge into the ‘pavitra bandhan’. And I being the older one was mostly the center of shaadi talks. Its funny to see that people instead of making the most of the wedding function they are present in - already start planning for next candidate.

So here I was, getting serious advice on marriage from the grown ups; the ones who have seen the world and experienced life more than me. It’s all good and frankly I didn’t mind it, but what really pisses me off is when people assume that I have all along been very choosey and overly pampered by my folks and that’s why even at the age of 26, I am without my ‘pati parmatma’. But I kept my tongue very much wrapped up in my mouth, because frankly my words would have made no-sense to them. After all, ‘I am not ready’, has never been considered a correct and valid reason for avoiding marriage, at least not in my family.

There were nights, when the whole clan (old & young) would sit down to chat, catch up on old times and then for some god for-saken reason, they would gang up on me. Asking all daunting questions, the types a girl will surely avoid….definitely avoid in front of hard-core Punjabi crowd. “What’s your dream man like, Saku?”, “Why didn’t you find one in Sydney, yaar?”, “You sure you don’t have anyone in mind? Inter-caste would do re.”, “You have already seen 5 boys, how many more?”, “You will be a buddhi by the time you have kids?” - These are just the tip of the ice-berg.

Its not that I am against marriage or anything like that but when you think about it as a life-long commitment - well it makes me practically shit bricks. The reason could be that I never thought that I would have to use my parent’s contacts to find a match, always believed that I would land-up having a ‘love-marriage’ - a wishful thinking. Another really scary bit is that in us North Indian, we don’t generally leave much gap between the engagement and marriage; max to max 6 months.

yeah…you guys can laugh

Anyway getting back to the nosy relatives, I was informed about this really silly-stupid ceremony. Apparently in us Punjus, the newly weds have to play couple of wedding games?right after they enter the groom’s house. But before the games begin, the bride has to (lightly) hit her bangles on girls/boys of marriageable age. It’s supposedly for good luck, plus the more the strings hanging from the bangles fall on your head - the sooner you are likely to get married. No brownie point for guessing that I was the first one to be thrown in. I could here my cousins, aunties rooting for my (new) bhabi, asking to hit the bangles hard….yelling away in joy when 3 of the bangle’s goofy looking balls fell on my head. At first, I thought it meant that I would have 3 husbands but too my shock it actually meant that I would get hitched in 3 months.

Now back in Mumbai, my mum is at it again….making calls here and there, looking for a suitable groom for her youngest. I can only imagine what she must be feeling, after being nagged and in-directly taunted by (some) relatives for my spinster-hood. As for me, well I am still in no hurry to associate myself with ‘M’ word….shaadi ka ladoo can wait.

• Culture, India, Me, New Age Thinking, Religion & Traditions, Women
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