Letting go of love

“If you really Love something set it free, if it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it was never meant to be”. This is one quote that somehow does not gel well with me. I rather hold on to the one I love then let someone else snatch it from me and that too without a fight. But then there are many who just do exactly what the quote dictates and then there are some; who go out of their way to do the same.

This is a story of my distant cousin. You can say his life was some-what like reel life of actor Ajay Devgan in movie ‘Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam’, only difference here is that my cousin is still searching for a happy ending for himself.

I met him after ages, at a recent family wedding. He has been living in US for the past 15 years of so. He got married at the age of 25 and divorced by the time he turned 28. His was an arranged marriage with a sweet Punjabi girl from the city of Indore in India. Just after initial two formal meeting both the families decided to get the couple married, my cousin had no hassle with the decision. Little did he know that his soon to be wife had her own set of dreams with someone else special in her life.

According to him, his then wife had her own valid reasons for not opening her heart to her family and just nodding a ‘yes’ to her marriage with someone she did not love or more so intend to love. So they got married and went on with their lives as husband and wife for the next couple of years, till the truth was out in the open.

Apparently, even after the marriage his wife was not able to get over her feelings for her lover back in India. They both stayed in touch via telephone, e-mails and letters. She would spend time with him during her visits to India. But there are a few things in life that people can’t hide forever and one fine day my cousin found his beloved wife’s love confession to her lover. That day he remarks as the worst time of his life and wouldn’t wish the same for his enemies too.

Any man in his place would have been filled with anger and hatred. But my cousin choose a different path to deal with his pain. He decided to have a long talk with his wife; there were so many questions in mind and heart that needed to be answered. They spoke for hours and hours, she basically spilled her heart out and he did the same. No fights..no anger..no abuse. By the end of their conversation, he had made up his mind; he was going to unite his wife and her lover.

Shocked on hearing his words, I asked him, “How could you take such a decision, wasn’t your ego hurt?” He looked at me with a faint smile and said “Love exists only when feelings are there, I could keep them physically apart but never get him out of her heart”. Plus he loved her too much to see her un-happy and help-less. His words even now don’t make sense to me, maybe I like others am so use to thinking about myself that such emotions we fail to understand.

He came to India with his wife; they together spoke to their respective families. He met her lover. Applied for divorce, girl decided no to take up the alimony offer. Once the divorce was thru, my cousin was one of the few people present at his ex-wife and her lover’s wedding.

One would think this to be the end, however once again my cousin stood out from the rest. He not only arranged his ex-wife’s wedding but also helped her out in getting her now-husband to US on a working visa. Today they continue to be good friends and very much still present in each other’s life.

It’s so darn surprising to see that such people do exist in today’s society. Jokingly, he told me that he actually enjoyed more in his wife’s second wedding then he did in his own. According to him, he lost his life-partner but found two best friends instead. These words sound so fake to the ears, one doesn’t come across self-less individuals often…atleast I haven’t.

Now days, he and his ex-wife in their spare time go thru matrimonial sites in search of a suitable bride for him.

All I have to say is that “Brother you are the most sensitive and courageous man I have known and I so glad that we share the same blood-line. I would be so lucky if I find a man, even half as much as you. You totally rock. Good Luck and love you loads”.