Hallmark missed these out….

Here are some amusing greeting possibilties that you will definitely not find on any Hallmark cards.

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder?
What the hell was I thinking?

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you .
I’ve changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life…
I never believed in Hell till I met you.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go …
would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.

Happy birthday! You look great for your age…
Almost Lifelike!

When we were together, you always said you’d die for me.

Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.

We have been friends for a very long time…
what say we stop?

I’m so miserable without you …
it’s almost like you’re here.

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