Bitching – The new bonding factor

Finally back to the Mumbai grind after a good 5 days break in New Delhi. The very first topic i should write about, after attending another ‘Big Fat Punjabi Wedding’, is ‘Bitching’. I am sure the bitching phenomena existed last time too but maybe I was just too high to notice it.This time around inspite of me being a wee-bit tipsy on most occasions…I was not able to avoid it. Bitching people were all around me, one group bitching about the other; from minor bitching to acute bitching.

I am sure most of you have witnessed the bitching activity at family weddings or functions and some of you have been a part of it too. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that these days; bitching is emerging as one important ‘bonding’ factor. After exchanging pleasantries, as soon as a couple of people leave the group; the next step followed is ‘bitching’ about the ones who left. I would say ‘bitching is just like itching’, if one starts then it doesn’t take much time for others to join in the verbal infection.

Men bitch around too

During the entire wedding duration, I was exposed to many salient features of the bitching trend; some I had witnessed in the past and some that sort off took me off-guard. Sample these….

Bitching habit exists in all age brackets and NOT just among the old aunties and newly married women.

Men bitch too; mostly after couple of alcohol shots down their throats.

Bitching about your closed relatives is considered ‘normal’ and not a ‘taboo’.

Gossiping and Bitching are real sisters. Since many a times self-made masalas are added to the bitching stories.

Bitching is widely used as a tool to fit in the group.

Two people who have bitched about eachother few minutes back, will go out of their way to behave as best of friends in front the society.

The number of bitchy stories in your sack is directly proportional to the number of people who ready to mingle with you.

Some minor bitching in process

Bitching consists of three levels; minor, medium and acute. Minor bitching involves simply talking about the other person’s clothes, habits, physical features, etc. Medium bitching consists of chatting about what one said about the other, ego boosting stories, etc. Lastly acute bitching, which is easily the mother of all made-up stories. Here individuals don’t care about relationships, as long as they are being the center of attention. They will add their own spices to the stories in order to get their desired objective.

Now I am not saying that I am some ‘doodh ki dhuli huii devi’. Me like others have also bitched around about people, during meet-ups with friends. But I have to say that it is no match to the bitching that goes around during North Indian weddings and especially Punjabi weddings. Here you have some 100 relatives from all around the country and abroad thrown together for couple of days, so you can only imagine the intensity of the whole scenario.

At times it is fun but then on the other hand there are times when things get really ugly and crude. After all you having a laugh at the expense of someone else; making a mockery of relationships. ‘Relationships’ is what our Indian culture so proudly boasts about to the Western world and then among our ownselves we shred the very proud culture to pieces.