Men are definately from Mars…and the proof is stated below.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
What’s the difference between men an government bonds?
Bonds mature.
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
Still not convinced,
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
A man’s undivided attention.
What are the two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Did you hear about the banker who’s a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Husband: “Want a quickie?”
Wife: “As opposed to what?”
Husband: “I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve go nothing to put in it.”
Wife: “You wear briefs, don’t you?”
* A collection of e-mail fwds.
Comments
5 comments | Add your comment »
neha
Feb 24th, 2006 at 9:48 am | #
I know this is supposed to be humourous and all. But the one about people with disabilities is in extremely poor taste. People with disabilities (or handicapped as you might prefer) are not the dregs of socities.
Kapil
Feb 24th, 2006 at 10:04 am | #
The bashing continues….enjoying these!
sakshi
Feb 24th, 2006 at 10:08 am | #
Dear Neha : I am sorry to have offended you. As you said it, this post is meant to be taken lightly and not literally.
Secondly, the word “Haddicapped” in this context..depends on how you look at it. Anyways, I have deleted that portion from the post…since I do realise that like yourself, others might take it the wrong way too.
neha
Feb 24th, 2006 at 10:46 am | #
Thanks Sakshi
Haridas Dave
Feb 26th, 2006 at 5:04 am | #
Hmmm, humorous post, but alas I cannot relate to this post. Man aaj kal ke mard, unpredictable !!!! Well, the funny part women are getting bashing mails of males whereas we guys are getting mails of women. Lol !! Like this one,
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”
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How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
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What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.