Homosexuals. This word as most of us are aware is used for individuals who dare to voice their desire of expressing “different” sexuality. Things that do not fit within the society norms are considered different.

However in today’s day and age, with the growing influence of western culture, representation in main stream media and acceptance from certain sections of society, homosexuality is slowly making its presence felt in our lives, a presence that previously existed within four walls.

- Because I have a Voice ” Queer Politics in India”, makes one realize how limited and narrow our definitions/views on sexuality are. It helps us understand the “Queer” world, which embraces identities and desires of sexuality that go beyond the categories of “homosexual” and “heterosexual”. It talks about the past, present and puts forth the most likely future of the “Queer”movement in India.

This book is divided into three parts; the first part discusses different sexuality related issues with respect to Indian society, medicine, law and cinema. From a personal point-of-view, I found this section to be most appealing. I could relate to it as a woman, a feminist and an individual burdened by the standards set by our society. The first chapter by Nivedita Menon, is one of the most interesting and thought provoking piece that I have read till date on Indian society’s perception of excepted sexuality. She wonders, if “heterosexuality” is perceived as the ONLY form of normal/natural sexual behavior then why does it have to be protected and controlled by religion, law, etc. to keep it active. Other chapters in this section raise important questions on medical ethics and the existence of outdated law, for example Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

Click here to continue reading ‘Because I have a Voice : Queer Politics in India’

Like me, most Bollywood movie buffs watched the 51st Filmfare awards on television unlike the privileged ones who get to see the live show. The Movie ‘Black’ won most of the awards, but then again this comes as no surprise.

Anyway, for me the highlight of the evening was not the ‘item number’ performed by Aishwarya Rai nor the short speech given by the Man in White aka. Will Smith. The never ending saga of advertisements took the cake by all measures. Now I understand that the channel and the Filmfare board need to make money to cover their enormous costs, but for crying out loud, these guys went way overboard.

We, the viewers were subjected to nearly 15 minutes of ads (most of them were Sony’s regular soap previews and Indian idol preview) after just max 5 to 7 minutes of the Filmfare show itself. This pathetic routine was repeated after every damn performance, after every award announcement.

A show which could have easily finished in two hours, went on for nearly 4 hours. For me it was like watching an ad show, with little snippets of award ceremony in it. Sony channel, it seems, looked to gain a lot from it’s TRP ratings and therefore made every second of the televised show count.

Believe me, the whole evening was just frustrating at times. The same ads were repeated a zillion times, if only the Mumbai police would have allowed Abu Salem to watch the show, I am 100% sure the man would have pleaded to every single crime he has every committed. I was watching the show at my best friend’s house along with her and her mum. And I have to say, this was only the second time that I have seen my aunt abusing the shits out of the poor television. Obviously, the anger was directed towards the people responsible, however the television was bearing the brunt.

On a serious note, the whole evening was a waste of time since we all knew who would be the winner, the performances were not that great, the show felt more like Amitabh Bachchan suck-up night and to top it all, the ongoing ads made the night even more forgetful. My advice would be, it’s better to record the show and watch it later on, at your ease, rather than waste your precious Saturday evening watching it live.

Just a side-note, Shabana Azmi was awarded the ‘Lifetime Achievement’ trophy, which I think she truly deserves. However, since she is still very much present and actively involved in Indian cinema, is it correct to hand her this award now? Couldn’t they give it to some yester-year actor ?

A bizzare Makrand

Men are definately from Mars…and the proof is stated below.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

Still not convinced, Click here to continue reading ‘Men are from Mars’

There is a common saying in Hindi movies, “Kanoon andha hota hai” (Law is blind), this sentence stands true to every word in reality too. We are all aware of the fact that the ‘high class’, especially in India are capable of getting away with anything…even a Murder.

On 29th April night, seven years ago…a young model Jessica Lal who offered to act as a celebrity bar-tender was shot dead at a party in Tamarind Court (a newly opened bar then, in South Delhi) for refusing to serve drinks to a guest who landed up at 2 am, way after the bar was closed. This unfortunate incident took place in a ‘high class’ gathering were most of the guests were VIPs, businessmen, top industrialists and celebrities who showed up for the party thrown by Delhi socialite Bina Ramani and fashion designer Malini Ramani. More than 100 people were present that night and most likely had witnessed the death of an innocent women.

Click here to continue reading ‘Jessica Lal Case: Justice not served’

These days the ‘M’ word is being used most often in my house. Now the ‘M’ here stands for ‘Marriage’, a word I am not too fond off. Being 26 years old, I do understand my mum’s worries and her wish to see me settled in life… but it’s just that I feel if you are not ready, then it’s not worth jumping into a lifelong commitment such as this.

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that tradition is very strong in our Indian society and it dictates many aspects of our lives. In India, regardless of religious differences, caste, class or regional location, tradition makes particular demands on the way women live their lives - from the clothes that they can wear and their mobility to the kind of jobs they can take up. I remember when I was leaving for further studies to Australia, my whole family was fine with my decision….but just at the last moment my mum started having second thoughts about sending me away from home at the “tender age” of 16. This momentary hesitation was less of her making and more of what her friends said. It’s another thing that I was able to get her to let go of her fears, but that was just one instance when I realized the hold society can have on an individual.

Just couple of days back I had this ‘gentleman’ come home, for whom my mum especially asked me to take half-day from work. He was a marriage broker: A man who specializes in fixing Punjabi and Sindhi marriages. An old man, around 55 years, not very fluent in English, but I have to admit, updated with today’s arranged marriage trends.

He started of asking me what sort of guy I am looking for - who would qualify as an ‘ideal’ husband in my book. As he was the last person I would discuss this topic with, I kept avoiding his questions with a smile, trying very hard not to be rude.

Another thing which I am sure many are aware of is the importance given to another ‘M’ word especially among the North Indians. Giving ‘marriage’ company is the ‘money’ factor. “Don’t go for a disco-going type of boy; first see how much money he has in his pocket”. He further went on to explain the alphabet of bride/groom hunting, even if, he informed me, we cannot have all the factors working in our favor.

A - Abilities (profession/business, is he a good cook, etc.) B - Bank balance (self explanatory) C - Character (attitude, behavior, etc.) D - Domestic (family, social standing) E - Education (didn’t matter, as long as the money is good) F - Fitness (Physical appearance)

I am not too sure what really upset me about this meeting. Now I agree money is important, but I wouldn’t let it dominate and take priority over my choice of a soul mate. Nor would I go about finding my soul mate checklist in hand.

Some of my relatives think that my overseas education has made me ‘fussy’ and ‘choosey’, but I am sure that there are many… many young women out there who feel the same way as I do. Maybe I am influenced by the advantages of modern life. Education, jobs, friends, and money are increasingly changing the image that women have of themselves. Maybe I am just one of those many young women who have aspirations that do not fit in with the traditional feminine roles of wife and mother. But must I face an identity crisis on account of this?

As women, we have to undergo many changes after marriage. Our name, our home, new people and environment and often, a profession to give up. I sometimes wonder why most men have ‘stag nights’ or ‘bachelor’s night’ before their weddings and crib that marriage binds them down and takes away their independence. Especially since women are the ones who are expected to change our whole identity overnight.

All I know is that as women we should try our best to not get caught in the web of familial expectations imposed in part by tradition, in part by societal pressure. We need to change the social environment that conditions women to think of themselves as reproductive beings, because in the long run, this will only stifle their individual personalities.