Well reading thru piles of daily morning newspapers, I came across a rather interesting article written by ‘Vipul Kulshreshtha’, a regular reader of ‘Mumbai Mirror’.
The article, is basically a confession of ‘male hypocrisy’ that exists in the Indian society. He has given certain situational examples of today’s so-called ‘modern men’ who gladly stand by and help their women, in daily chores but are hesitant to confess them to their male friends. They prefer to keep their actual feelings locked up behind their bedroom doors, to escape being labeled as “Joru ka Gulam”.
Here is the entire write-up….
I know, I may be banished, or in the worst-case scenario, crucified by fellow males for writing this. But, even if it is a dirty job to expose male hypocrisy, someone’s got to do it. So here goes…
It is a misconception that only women love to gossip. Men do it too, as much as women, but only among themselves. They are up-to-date on the office romances, neighbour’s dalliances, differences between a friend and his wife and other juice. In the presence of women, however, the conversation is confined to money matters, investments, technology, sports, politics, with a little bit of Hollywood and Bollywood thrown in. All done to sound better read and better informed.
Many modern men help their wives in cooking, changing children’s diapers, and others run errands. But when this fact is mentioned in front of someone, even admiringly, they get a start. Because such a revelation could make them a prime candidate for the ‘Joru ka Gulam’ tag.
Most men lavish praise on their wives in private, but they dare not do it in the presence of another man. The rule is to keep taking digs at your wife and crack jokes about her follies and inadequacies.
Most women want their men to relinquish all vices, so, many a time they are after their man to refuse the invitation to that all male booze session which is becoming a little too frequent for comfort. But can a man refuse going to such a session citing his wife’s ire? No way! He will suddenly fall ill, or have unexpected guests.
No man worth his salt would ever admit in public that his wife drives the car better than him, is more computer-savvy, can fix that fuse, or haggle with and supervise the carpenters, plumber, or masons better than he can, is better at handling the accounts than him, or is more organised than he ever would be.
Most men lie while talking about their sexual conquests. They desperately want to project an image of a Casanova. Whereas, the truth is that, most of the times they would have spent the night with their date talking about the works of William Shakespeare or any other topic under the sun. I could tell you more but my friends just called to invite me for the all-night beer-session. I’ll tell them I can’t come. My mother-in-law just popped in!
Above article, though being humorous brings forward a far more serious problem that exists in our Indian society or for that matter all over world. The problem being that even in our modern-educated society, male chauvinism still exists, however much we may try to camouflage it. Men are still egotists at heart. Some still feel hesitant to acknowledge the fact that women can indeed rub shoulders with them and excel in any field as much as they do, so the scope of them excepting these very facts among their own kind seems like a distant dream.
Surely there are many women, who don’t complain or winge over this issue. And I can understand this to a certain degree, I mean as long as the husband is taking upon an equal share of responsibilities and is acknowledging his wife’s (justified) needs THEN it doesn’t matter if he hides these ‘inside-details’ from his male buddies.
But then come to think of it, if men do start confessing and discussing the ‘actual truth’ among each other, definitely the result could only be positive step towards a better society. Gender equality that exists inside their house, would then be able to inhale fresh air in the open. And probably only then pathetic terms such as “Joru ka Gulam”, “Napunsak” and “Paltu Pati” cease to exist.
(disclaimer : the above references are made ONLY towards certain [and hopefully minimum] male section of the India society and is NOT targeted towards the entire gender.)
, Just hope that you guys are not attacked by the ‘SIFs’, they will surely not be happy reading this.
Unless, women stop using men as protectors and providers, nothing is going to change. Women need to change themselves first and start protecting-providing for themselves. From an age of 10, young boys are made to feel like unpaid bodyguards by their mothers, aunts, elder sisters. When will they stop doing that ? Patriarchy make men to supress emotions(stop crying) from age of 5. Just imagine, how terrible that life must have been.
[...] Sakshi comments on the supposedly hypocritical nature of men. He [the author] has given certain situational examples of today’s so-called ‘modern men’ who gladly stand by and help their women, in daily chores but are hesitant to confess them to their male friends. They prefer to keep their actual feelings locked up behind their bedroom doors, to escape being labeled as “Joru ka Gulam”. [...]
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