Umeed Se… Doobna

Ramchandraji, aap ka pehla sawaal 10,000 rupaye ke liye hai

On to the next question, it’s for 1 lakh rupees..

What was our CM Nilassrao Dishmush up to?
a) Appreciating the gifts Madmohan Singh got for him from USA
b) Hosting a dinner party for Narayan Shaane
c) Was on the phone noting down pasta recipes from Shawniaji
d) Busy negotiating with producers, to get films for his jobless son Reetesh

I have to go on a shoot for Babul, so let’s wrap this up fast OK.

Why were the cell networks down?
a) They were too overloaded with MMS videos
b) Orange was looking for their dog; he drowned.
c) MTNL = Mera Telephone Nahaane Laga
d) Sehwag ki maa was chit chatting with the Indian cricket team, jamming all the networks.

Great, my wife is busy in Delhi in Rajya Sabha enjoying the sunshine and I have to do shows like this all over again. Life sux!

Why was the town side unaffected by rains?
a) The ShAmbanis launched special laser rays to stop the rains
b) That’s not even Mumbai..
c) It was built by the British – duh!
d) People there bribed the Rain Gods with the money from their Swiss Bank accounts

Exec Producer: Amitji, aap rakam bolna toh bhool hi gaye.
Amitabh: Main Insaan hoon, maseeha nahin! I have to go and shoot chyawanpraash ads you know. Next question!

If you met a Bollywood star on 26th July, you would…
a) Ask them to take you over at their place since you live far away
b) Get the inside scoop on who’s sleeping with whom
c) Request a quick interview for JAM.
d) Start giving them career advice!

What was wrong with the drainage system?
a) Please no jokes Amitji. Drainage! Ha!
b) People mistook it for a dustbin all this while
c) Wait! I thought that was a free toilet facility.
d) BMC used it to trap rats and drunkards

Next time you are stuck in waist high water, what will be your preferred mode of transport?
a) Bhaaji ki tokris – sit in them and row away
b) Walk on stilts robbed from the nearby circus
c) Tarzan style, from pole to pole
d) Eat Parle G and wait for Shaktimaan

Will there be heavy rains again?
Ramchandra wants ‘audience poll’ – magar the audience is stuck in the heavy rains.
Finally he asks to ‘phone a friend’.